


Surround my surroundings

by Rutree



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:10:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9627578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rutree/pseuds/Rutree
Summary: "H-he’s back. Josh. Help me. Please."Whilst filming the videoclip for Holding onto you, things don't go the way as one hopes they go.





	

Josh and Tyler were knackered. They had started filming the video-clip of holding onto you early in the morning, but luckely they’re now almost finished. Well, Tyler is. Josh has all his takes already recorded. He has just washed his face from the skull make-up and walks back to the set to support Tyler with his last take as it has been a very long day. 

However, as soon as Josh walks back onto the set and sees Tyler, he knows things aren’t okay. Josh had walked in as Tyler and the crew were filming a scene where a noose hangs on Tyler. Not Tyler hanging on a noose, mind you, but to establish this shot he still had to have a rope around his neck. 

‘For goodness’ sake.’ Josh thought. ‘Why do all directors have to take the text of our songs so literally. Seriously.’ Josh fumed further as he walked towards the crew and Tyler. ‘They know what Tyler sings about in our songs and they know it’s from life experience. Couldn’t they be at least a bit more sensible. Jesus.’ 

As he gets closer to the small circle of people, he notices the choreographer run off to get some water and when he gets to Tyler he sees things are really not okay. Tyler is sitting hunched forwards with his elbows on his knees, breathing erratically, obviously on the brink of a full blown panic attack. Josh knew this shoot would take it out of Tyler and he knows, he knows the noose hadn’t been a good idea. It had taken a while before Tyler had told Josh about his fears and his past, but Tyler did because he had felt like he had to justify his lyrics. Tyler had told him everything, with all the ins and outs, nothing left uncovered. He had told him he had dealt with _him_ and that _he_ was left in the past and that it was all okay now. Josh is hoping for the best, but it’s inevitable Tyler would be triggered by that damn noose. 

Josh sits next to Tyler and envelops him in his arm. “Shh it’s okay, I’m here” Josh coos whilst rocking Tyler back and fort in an attempt to calm him down. It isn’t really helping, Tyler is still breathing erratically and the tears are running over his cheeks. 

“H-he’s back. Josh. Help me. He’s back. Please, Josh. Please, save me.” Tyler’s voice broke on the last ‘please’ which broke Josh’s heart. It hurt his heart to see his boyfriend in so much agony. The shot with all the dancers touching his head, had already set him on edge. All those hands. All over his face. His body. He knew Tyler didn’t like being touched and yet, he hadn’t said anything about it. Even though he saw Tyler was in so much discomfort.

“Ty, I’m here. What can I do to make it better? What can I do to make him disappear?” Josh asks whilst still cradling Tyler in his arms.

“R-rubberband. Do- do you have a rubberband. I need a rubberband.” Tyler stammers. “I know you don’t want me to give a rubberband, but p-please.” Tyler looks up at Josh with glassy eyes. “it’ll make him disappear. Please. J-just five minutes.” 

The moment Tyler had seen the noose come out of the box he had known things weren’t going to be as great as he thought they would be. Whilst he was lying down, calming himself and getting ready for the noose around his neck, he knew something would happen, or rather someone. When the director shouted “Action!” Tyler heard _him:_ Blurryface. It had been a while, but Tyler had known somewhere in the back of his mind he wouldn’t get rid of him forever. He just hadn’t been expecting him today, everything had been so good for the past couple of years. But now, Blurry’s back. Nagging his brain, tormenting his thoughts. Twisting his perception. Josh’s arms around his body help, but they don’t make Blurry disappear. A rubberband would help Tyler, take Blurry out. The snapping against his wrist would be the only thing Tyler would focus on and Blurry would disappear. In the meantime, Blurry was screeching harder and harder. Making fun of him. Laughing about all the stupid things Tyler had done since the last time Tyler had to deal with him.

“J-josh please. Help me.” 

Josh would do anything to help his boyfriend. Everything he could do. However, he doesn’t have a rubber band and the crew was already packing up. He has to think of something else to make Blurry go away.

“Tyler, can you hear me?” Tyler’s eyes are closed and Josh knows Blurry would make Tyler humble to his surroundings which would make communication a challenge. However, Tyler nodded slightly, letting Josh know he was heard. 

“Okay. Can you still talk?” Josh asks knowing Blurry might have made everything even harder in the meantime. Tyler shakes his head whilst letting out incoherent sounds, clearly in distress. 

“Shh it’s okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to.” Tyler continues whimpering. “Okay. Tyler, I don’t have a rubberband for you.” Josh hears Tyler’s erratic breathing stop for a moment. “Ty, come on, keep breathing. Keep listening to my voice, okay?” Tyler nods again and his breathing continued. “Okay. Can you open your eyes for me?” Tyler shakes his head in response. Opening his eyes will make Blurry more powerful, so he won’t. “You don’t have to look at me, you can just look at my arm. Okay?” Tyler nods hesitantly, he doesn’t want to let his boyfriend down. He opens his eyes slowly, ready to close them any moment Blurry appears. “Very good Ty, I’m proud of you. Now, do you see my arm?” Tyler nods again. 

“Okay, good.” Josh picks up Tyler’s trembling hand and places it on his arm. “Ty, listen to my voice, okay?” Tyler nods again. “Do you see the tree? Can you follow the roots with your eyes or your finger?” Tyler nods and hesitantly traces the roots with his finger shakingly. Examining Josh’s sleeve calms Tyler down, his breathing becomes less erratic. Tyler goes further, noticing all the details, tracing the roots, the branches disappearing in the leaves. The bright colours make everything better, pushing Blurry away. Tyler’s finger trails further, going up to Josh’s shoulder, following the swirl of the galaxy. Tyler’s breathing pattern is back to normal again as he starts to investigate the small birds on Josh’s arm. This goes on for a couple of minutes, Tyler’s eyes fixated on Josh’s sleeve, not wanting to look away, afraid to see Blurry somewhere in his surroundings. His investigation becomes less erratic and after a couple more examining rounds he locks his eyes with Josh’s. “Hey” 

“Hey” Tyler whispers.

“You back again?” Josh asks

“Yes” Tyler breaths out. “Thank you.”

Josh sends Tyler a questioning look. “For what?”

“For surrounding my surroundings. Or to be more specific, for having a colorful arm and not having a rubberband I guess. I don’t think I would’ve come out better if you had.” 

Josh plants a kiss on Tyler’s forehead in response and smiles and says:

“I have news for you.”

 

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I _need_ high resolution photo's of Josh's sleeve for this sake.
> 
> Every time I see that video my heart just aches.
> 
> Please let me know what you think of this.
> 
> |-/
> 
> x


End file.
